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Reyno Rants - It's beginning to look a lot like Grinchmas: Why the holiday season is not for everyone

Credit: KNEEWAX

For many, the holiday season is the happiest time of the year, but for others, it can be a hassle to deal with and something to quickly rush through.


Nick Reyno | Interrobang | Opinion | November 27th, 2017



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It’s that time of year again. Snow is falling, shoppers are waging war on local stores and Michael Bublé’s relevance has been restored.

It’s the perfect time of year, for most people. Unfortunately, I fall into the other group of people, who would rather sit at home and pass the weeks until January.

I’m not exactly sure when it started, but I have turned into a complete Christmas Grinch, a real old Ebenezer Scrooge.

Everything is fine and dandy right up until I start hearing Christmas music. The exact millisecond that the first note of “Santa Clause Is Coming to Town” hits my ears, my happy demeanor crumbles into an ashen wasteland of grimaces and bah humbugs.

It’s one thing to play Christmas music in the comfort of your own home, for a reasonable amount of time and at a respectable volume but to hear it 24/7 for nearly two months is balderdash. There are what, 30 good Christmas songs? The average song is about three minutes long, so you only need an hour and a half to listen to every one of them. Now we’re going to stretch that to nearly 60 days? That’s 1440 hours, for a catalogue of 30 songs. I’m getting gray hair just thinking about it.

People are always baffled to hear that I’m not in the holiday spirit, like they can’t comprehend why someone wouldn’t want to fight through masses of grumpy shoppers just to buy eggnog. I think my dislike for the holiday season is similar to when someone tells you to watch a TV show that you have zero interest in.

Everyone is baffled by your lack of interest and keeps pestering you to get into it but consequently just makes you hate it more because of their constant nagging. Christmas is cool and stuff but if all of my friends weren’t hassling me about not having a Christmas playlist and matching tacky sweater for each day of the week, I might not be so grumpy about the whole ordeal.

When I was younger Christmas was great because it allowed me to divert my attention from how horribly high the snow banks were and let me focus on holiday cheer and decorations and presents.

Nowadays it’s pretty common to have a green Christmas so it’s not like the holidays are diverting my attention from anything all that terrible. If we could move everything to February or even March, I could definitely get on board with it.

The only thing to look forward to in February is that spring is only three months away. For those of you thinking, “What about Valentine’s Day though?” I will personally tell each and every one of you exactly where you can stick that opinion. If we could just replace Valentine’s Day with Christmas, or perhaps even swap the two holidays I could be more of an Olive the Other Reindeer and less of a Mr. Oogie Boogie.
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