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One Bourbon, one Scotch and one Beer

George Stelle | Distorter Media | Distorter | February 4th, 2008

Years of partying and drinking hard have finally caught up with Lindsay Lohan, as she’s sprouted a David Hasselhoff-esque chest. Lohan. seen here leaving the Betty Ford Clinic of California for the umpteenth time. blames her alcohol and drug abuse for the sudden burst of hair on her chest. Lohan also blames a teenage back-acne problem treated with prescription medication Tetracycline that she popped like Tic Tacs for contributing to her chest hair growth. Lohan has no immediate plans to wax her chest because she wants to be considered for the female lead in the remake of Teen Wolf.

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
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